#norocketships Early May 2026
I've just been rubbed all over by the funsponge
I’m a few days late - apologies. Life in tech is at a very challenging moment I think. AI has already overpromised, SaaS companies say they’re “fine thanks”, but both customers and investors do not agree. Meanwhile the brands you’re all targeting are already buying less and building more.
Oh - and in a nod to our “insult of the week” heritage... are you the funsponge? Check yourself :)
Vile Rumour & Gossip
Leapfrogging is back - More brand-side decision makers who are still on an old platform are considering a leap into the unknown. From an ancient Fredhopper platform to who knows what? Bypassing Algolia, even Constructor... the LLM visibility challenge is real. And finally the home-grown stacks are coming apart. Despite years of pursuit by SFCC they’re all going Shopify or Centra :).
How cross are Stripe? - Last October the ACP was the envy of all it surveyed. Remember everyone claiming they were part of the launch program? And now? OpenAI have bailed on the checkout, so Stripe must be mad as hell and ACP is just a “connective layer”... the website isn’t dead after all apparently.
3 month roadmaps in SaaS - I’ve been banging on about roadmaps being a vital sign to SaaS health for a while now, and in 5 convos this last week I’m told by founders “we can’t publish anything beyond 3 months”. How is a prospect supposed to make a decision based on that I ask you?
Claude for the win - Without doubt, Claude is by far the best tool for devs right now. The gap isn’t small either. One CTO told me last week that “even a really expensive contractor, armed with Claude, can deliver better ROI than a staffer with a lesser toolset. His estimate was a 10x better velocity.
Has OpenAI flown too close to the sun?
I’m not sure anyone wants to say it, but apart from being a bit “goody two shoes” OpenAI seems damaged. Too broad too fast is the call - and whilst revenues are scaling super-quick, the tools are not leading in any category.
You can always tell when the chatter is about others, and whilst “ChatGPT” is the lingua franca of the consumer still, Google has it’s UCP house in order now, and anthropic is on fire.
The “addiction” ruling damaging and distracting Meta and YouTube could not be more welcome in our house, and we hope OpenAI’s lack of a compass gives others an opportunity to reap havoc.
Is old online starting to unravel?
Human nature is curious, inquisitive. The idea of 3 channels where ALL the money goes just isn’t sustainable. Nice job Google and Meta for creating a media addiction, and an industry to go along with it, but it’s finding the bumps in the road, and some are losing grip on their handlebars.
In 20 years of digital, physical retail in the USA still counts for 80% of sales. So despite Amazon, marketplaces and every d2c brand known to man throwing money at the cart, shops are still alive, and more noticably are starting to thrive again.
A CDO I spoke to last week did store visits recently, and the staff came with a list of functionality (iMessage to CRM, SKU reference pics closer to the image for “screenshot shopping”). They’re prioritising all of this.
More from Vague Fierce...
You remember we teased a few highlights from the Commerce Futures community vendor mickey take a few issues ago? Here are a few more nuggets:
1) how much of this are we actually using ?
2) speak to the former customers not the current ones
3) the danger of the POC/POV
4) do we need it or do we like shiny things?
5) does the business need it or is it looking for an excuse for missing targets?
6) the ceo and the speculative phone call
7) how it ends is as important as how it starts
8) Tobi Lutke and why we shouldn’t worship idols
9) Is it an Alliance or an Empire?
10) Why am I the one spending my time reintroducing myself annually
Also -”Salesman please don’t call me buddy”?
More soon - oh and please do look at our new event series this autumn “Let’s go Shopping“ in Soho London if you can.
Jamie
insult of the week - #funsponge
”He literally sucks the fun out of the room. Whenever I walk past him I feel like I’ve been rubbed down with a sponge doused of meanspirited wipes… he’s got to go!”